Unexpected retreat, Clenched fists & Surrender.

I made a last minute decision last week to go on a women’s retreat through a church group I go to. It’s been a really busy few weeks for me, so I struggled with the idea of “giving up” a weekend… but finally decided that I needed to give my time to God more than to anything else.

What officially won over my indecisive mind, was when I heard what the topic of the retreat was…

Surrender.

Though surrender is not a word that I’ve spent much time dwelling on, I knew it was exactly what my heart needed in so many ways right now. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed and stressed about some life things that are bigger than I can take on alone, and I knew I needed to do give them over to better Hands.

This, of course, takes trust… which is something I am very selective about. I’ve discovered that I only trust people that I fully understand and know. I have a hard time trusting someone who I don’t “get” completely. Do you ever feel that way?

Lately, more than ever, I’ve been seeing new dimensions of God that I never have before. It’s not only shaken my understanding of who He is, but how He works. While this is good and something I want continually… it also brings about a strange sense of confusion that begs to be sifted through and reconciled. All this to say, as my understanding of Him was shaken… so was my trust.

This idea of “surrender” is a scary thing. In some ways, it can seem like defeat… giving up… or loosing what is so dear. But with God, surrender isn’t about loosing. Surrender, really, is about giving everything to God… in order to gain something better.

God promises that.

While I can’t even begin to explain the journey that God took me on this weekend… I will say that the chains that I entered the retreat with were completely broken by the time I left. God reminded me that He IS the same yesterday, today and tomorrow… and ALWAYS loves us, wants the best for us and has a plan for us.

Surrender is hard. I gave Him things that are the dearest, most precious to my heart. But you know what? I’m free now. I trust that the Hands I gave them to will bring immeasurably more.

Are you holding anything behind your back with fingers clenched? God sees it. You feel it. Maybe it’s time to surrender what you cannot keep… so you can gain what you cannot loose.

[“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:4-6]

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2 responses to “Unexpected retreat, Clenched fists & Surrender.

  1. Thank you soooo much for that Paige!!!! I know that Im at a point where i need to surrender. And that verse at the bottom is one that has touched me more than once, its truly amazing to see it again on your blog here!!

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